Perfume and Elevators

In my late teens early 20's I wore perfume, but even at that young age I was aware that a little goes a long way. And body chemistry plays a role in the offensiveness of the aroma. My grandmother explained that perfume should only be applied to the pulse points, i.e. the neck, wrist, inner elbow and behind the knee. Only the smallest of dabs was enough, and smelling your own perfume after fifteen minutes meant it was the wrong scent for you. I always heeded her words and I'm sorry not all women had been given this essential piece of advice.


The other day, at work, I was in the elevator when the scent of one of my co-workers arrived before the doors opened to allow her entry.  Within seconds my eyes started to burn and my nose started to run. I began to cough and sputter. I grabbed a tissue out of my bag and brought it to my face, hoping it would act as a gas mask. It didn't seem to help, the damage had been done, I thought I was going to keel over!


"Are you okay?" she asked. Gasping for my next breath, I replied "It must be something in the air". 


Was this well dressed, seemingly sophisticated woman totally unaware of the obtrusiveness of her perfume? And more to the point, just what was she trying to cover up? Had she been at a "sleep over" and run out of time to shower and figured diving into a vat of  horribly scented au d'toilet would mask her indiscretion? I didn't think I could escape fast enough! 


Ding....2nd floor. The doors opened an another passenger stepped in. As the doors closed I noticed she was reaching into her bag to pull out a tissue.


Ding....3rd floor. My stop, I stumbled out of the elevator, drawing in the fresh air as if my life depended on it, and I believe it did!


"Mind if I walk with you?" asked Ms. Well Dressed.  It's gonna be one of those days!